If I could go back and give my younger self one piece of leadership advice, it would be this: stop treating feedback like kryptonite, and start seeing it as your secret superpower.
I’ll admit it—early in my career, the word feedback made me break into a nervous sweat. My stomach would churn the moment a manager said, “Can I give you some feedback?” Because in my head, feedback was just a polite way of saying, “Here’s a list of all the ways you’re failing.”It took me a while to realise how wrong I was. Feedback isn’t a punishment. It’s a gift. It’s free coaching. It’s like having a superpower that lets you see yourself from the outside—and, if you’re brave enough to use it, it can change the trajectory of your career.
One of the funniest (and most helpful) pieces of feedback I ever received was about my hands.
I was fresh into a new role, leading meetings with my team for the first time. After one session, my manager pulled me aside and said, “Maya, you’ve got great energy when you speak. But your hand gestures… they’re kind of distracting. At one point I thought you were about to take off in flight.”
At first, I was mortified. I went home and replayed the whole meeting in my head, imagining myself flapping around like an overenthusiastic bird. But after I got over the sting, I realised something important: this wasn’t criticism, it was insight. My energy was good—it just needed some refining.
The next week, I focused on grounding my movements, using gestures more intentionally. And you know what? People started paying more attention to my words than my flailing arms. That tiny piece of feedback completely shifted the way I communicate.
So why do so many of us, especially as emerging leaders, feel like feedback is an attack?
Partly because we confuse what we do with who we are. When someone says, “You could try doing X differently,” we often hear, “You’re not good enough.”
But here’s the thing: feedback isn’t about your worth. It’s about your impact. Leaders who grow the fastest are the ones who can separate their identity from their actions. They understand that feedback doesn’t define them—it refines them.
The best way I can describe feedback is like a mirror. You can’t see how you come across to others unless someone reflects it back. Without feedback, you’re basically walking around with spinach in your teeth and no one’s telling you.
When I started asking for feedback regularly, I learned things about myself I never would have noticed. For example:
I sometimes rushed through instructions, leaving people unclear.
I had a habit of nodding along so much in meetings that people assumed I agreed with everything (when I didn’t).
My tendency to stay quiet in big meetings meant my ideas weren’t being heard.
None of these were career-ending flaws. But without feedback, they could have held me back for years.
So how do you transform feedback from something terrifying into your leadership superpower?
Ask for it before it’s offered.
Don’t wait for your annual performance review. Ask your peers, mentors, or managers directly: “What’s one thing I could do differently to be more effective?” When you invite feedback, you show confidence and curiosity.
Listen without defending.
The hardest part is resisting the urge to explain yourself. When someone says, “You come across a bit rushed in meetings,” don’t immediately reply with, “Well, that’s because I was under pressure!” Just listen. Take notes. Process later.
Look for patterns, not one-offs.
If one person says you talk too fast, that’s an opinion. If five people say it, it’s a pattern. Focus on the themes that repeat—they’re your biggest opportunities.
Say thank you.
Whether you agree or not, always thank people for their feedback. It takes courage to give it, and gratitude keeps the door open for future conversations.
Act on it visibly.
Feedback only becomes a superpower when you use it. Show people you’ve made changes. That way, they know their input mattered, and they’ll keep investing in your growth.
The more I embraced feedback, the more I noticed something else: it’s contagious. When leaders normalise feedback—giving it, asking for it, receiving it graciously—it creates a culture where everyone gets better.
Instead of people whispering frustrations behind closed doors, they speak up openly. Instead of mistakes festering, they turn into learning moments. Instead of everyone feeling like they’re walking on eggshells, they feel like they’re walking on stepping stones.
Today, when someone says, “Can I give you some feedback?” I don’t brace for impact anymore. I get curious. Because I know that inside that moment—no matter how awkward or uncomfortable—it might hold the key to my next big breakthrough.
Feedback taught me how to use my hands better. It taught me how to slow down, how to be clearer, how to show up as the leader I want to be. And it continues to teach me, every single week.
So if you’ve been avoiding feedback like it’s your arch-nemesis, it’s time to flip the script. Feedback isn’t kryptonite. It’s your cape.
And once you put it on, you’ll realise the truth: feedback doesn’t just make you better—it makes you unstoppable.